Vientiane to Kuala Lumpur Malaysia: a couchsurfing experience gone wrong

I took a 3 hour flight from Vientiane to Kuala Lumpur Malaysia.  My couchsurfing host in KL (I'll call her K) told me she could pick me up in the city center at 5:30pm.  So I took the skybus to Sentral Station, got there around 3:30pm, and spent 2 hours walking around and checking email until 5:30.

Unfortunately, I was in the wrong place.  I waited for 30 min, and then at 6pm I skyped called K.  She said went to mynews.com where she told me to wait for her and didn't see me.  I thought she came during the brief moment I left to skype her so I went back.  When I still didn't see her I skyped her again.  She said she was there but since I didn't see her, I realized I was at the wrong station.



I had to take the train to the next station over.  And there she was waiting for me.  She actually left to go back home when she didn't see me, only to turn around and come back for me when I called her.  Neither of us got each others text messages.

It was difficulty for me to make conversation with K.  She has all these amazing things she described in her CS profile and I tried to ask her about some but she didn't elaborate.  Then out of nowhere she told me a story about how recently she wasn't home for a few days, and when she came back she couldn't find her detergent.  She said it must of been her roommate who took it.  "Oh, you live with other people?" I asked.  "I have 6 roommates" she said.  "Wow.  I like living with other people, but I think at most 1 or 2." I replied.  She said she shares a house with 2 guys and 4 girls.  "Oh, guys live with you too?  Do you share the same bathroom?" I probed.  And she said yes.  I wasn't happy that this information wasn't in her profile.  But she said they all live in separate parts of the house.

She also warned me that her room was very small.  I told her it was okay and that I live in NY where rooms are also tiny.  When we got to her house, I saw she was not exaggerating about the size of her room.  I think it is the size of my dorm room in bard.  There was a twin size bed against the wall, and a couple of feet of floor space in between the bed and the closet against the other side of the wall.  You couldn't even fit a sleeping bag on that floor space!  I felt rude saying it was too small for me so I decided to accept it and see how things played out.

I saw her roommate outside her door and smiled and waved hello.  She smiled back and said hi.  Then K said, "You took my detergent".  Then the roommate went off on her, yelling and cursing at her!  K slammed the door shut and locked it while her roommate was still screaming.  I couldn't believe what was happening!  Then K turned up the volume loud on her TV.  She said, her roommate yelled that she was going take a key and scratch her car!

K nonchalantly apologized to me and said, "Don't worry, my roommate is crazy."  Then she said, "Do you want to take a shower now?"  She had told me in the car that there was a couchsurfing event that evening and that I could shower when we got to her place so we could go together   I was feeling very uncomfortable but still took out my towel.


Finally I spoke up.  "I'm really sorry but I don't think I'm going to be comfortable staying here".  "Oh, don't worry, its just my roommate whose crazy" she said again.  Was that supposed to make me feel better?  I apologized profusely and said that I understood it wasn't her fault and I'm so sorry she came for me twice to the train station but I that I think I would rather find a hostel to stay in.  She took out her phone and said, "I have some CS friends I can call to see if they have a place."  I didn't like that she seemed intent on me following her suggestions.  I said, "Oh that's okay, I think I'm going to to stay in a hostel.  Could you just take me back to the train station?"  Then she said, "Okay, why don't you have a shower first." I didn't even want to leave my things unattended with her!  And how could I bring all my valuables in the bathroom with me right in front of her!  "Oh that's okay.  Its getting dark, I'll just go now" I said.  She finally gave in to my requests and we left.

Then she said, "I can take you to a guesthouse in the city center."  Again I told her politely that I rather see what options I have online and if she could just take me to a coffee shop with internet.  And she finally dropped me off.

At the coffee shop, I booked a hostel.  Another couchsurfer had accepted my request but I declined it since I had already told K I would stay with her.  So I skyped called her and told her that I was in KL, but didn't feel comfortable with my first host.  I asked if she could host me tomorrow night.  She said she was sorry she couldn't host me tonight since she was already out but that we could meet tomorrow in the city at and then go to her house afterwards.

As I made my way to my hostel, I starting thinking how crazy that experience was.  I remembered the story Chris told me about one of his CS experiences.  As soon as he set foot in his host's apartment, his host said, "Do you want to take a shower", and it wasn't even night time yet.  Then the shower curtain didn't even cover his waist.  As soon as the water started running his host said he needed to come in to brush his teeth.  It made me laugh on the train and people were staring at me laughing to myself.

I'm just glad God got me out of that situation safely.

I guess it was bound to happen!  I was a bit skeptical about K because of her profile picture.  It was a picture of her staring out of a window, with her face mostly concealed by a shadow.  She wasn't facing the camera, and with the shadow you only saw part of the side of her face.  Usually people I look really sweet and nice in their picture, and I always find it interesting to see what picture people choose to represent themselves with.  Some people have pictures showing cleavage or making funny faces.  I find it interesting that someone would choose a profile picture in which half of their face is concealed by a shadow.  I decided to contact her anyway because she had over 30 references, all positive and not even a neutral reference.

I'm just glad God got me out of that situation safely.

KL is such a grimy city, the few parts I've seen.  There are signs all over the subway saying "Watch out for pickpockets"  When the train stopped, everyone starting rushing in and I could barley step off with my luggage.